Dear Things

I take everything in when you’re playing together.  Your conversations.  You’re arguments.  I watch and listen.  I always have.  The connection is amazing.  You have such a way of being together.  I crave our time alone together.   Just the 3 of us.  That time is coming to an end. You start school in 2 days.  Both of you.  I will be by myself.  Sure, I will sub at the school and be on several committees but, for the most part, our time as it always has been will never be the same.  I’m silently mourning that.  I cannot let you see me cry.  I want you excited about school.  I want you to meet friends and learn and play and experience new things.  The smile hides the pain I feel.  For seven breathtaking years I’ve been a Stay-At-Home Mommy and words will never fully explain the joy it has brought me. I will still be here when you come home but I know life is changing and inside, I’m hurting. I knew this would happen and I’m happy. Life happened and you grew, happy and healthy like I prayed you would but I am struggling with you leaving.  I never knew letting go could or would be this hard.  I know I will have fun helping at your school and *hopefully* catching glimpses of you both  in the halls.  My advice?  Have fun. Try hard.  Play hard.  Make friends.  Be nice.  Listen.  Be polite.  Say “please” and “thank you.”  Follow the rules.  Know that no matter where you are Mommy is thinking of you and wants you to do your best. I love you both so much.  You have given me something in my life that I can never repay.  I am so much more of a person for being your mother. Thank you for teaching me, loving me, letting me be your mother.  Good Luck on your first day of 1st grade, Thing 1 and your first day of school, Thing 2. Mommy loves you!!!!

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